‘RESENTMENT IS A FOUL THING’

 

‘RESENTMENT IS A FOUL THING’

It is not difficult to think of actual cases of resentment that we have known but it is not helpful. What is really beautiful – and healing – is to think of cases of forgiveness. After the bitter war of liberation, Robert Mugabe began his tenure of office with a magnanimous expression of forgiveness which was sincerely meant at the time. We were inspired and looked forward to the creation of a new society where all the ills of the past would be addressed. That was 1980.

The twentieth century saw other instances of reconciliation in Germany, Ireland, South Africa and elsewhere. Forgiveness, whether between people or nations, frees us and opens doors. Resentments lock us into ourselves and block any kind of growth. The story of the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18 is both cruel and ludicrous. The practice of selling a person’s wife and children to pay a debt sounds heinous to our ears. And the act of cancelling a debt of the equivalent of millions of dollars without a moment’s hesitation sounds just funny. But neither of these are the point of the story. The man was forgiven but he could not forgive.

Resentment and forgiveness seem direct opposites but they have one thing in common: passion. People can be passionate and obstinate about their resentments, but if they are touched by God, as Paul was, they can be even more passionate about the new life that opens up for them. ‘I am living in faith, faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me’ (Gal 2:20). He goes on to boast about his troubles – ‘dangers at sea, from rivers, from brigands, from my own people …’ He is full of life and energy and makes light of his troubles because of the forgiveness he has experienced.

A person living with resentments is like a caged dog whining the day away while other dogs cavort in the sun. The person’s energies and capabilities lie thwarted and unfulfilled. Yet they are only a step away from new life and freedom if they could only see it.

The other sad reflection is that resentment has a social impact; it contaminates relationships in the family, the community and the state. The attitude of the resentful person is contagious and blocks those around him or her from doing what they could do.

No wonder Ben Sirah, writing more than two thousand years ago, could say, ‘Resentment and anger, these are foul things…’

17 Sept 2023         Sunday 24A          Sir 27:30ff   Rom 14:7-9   Mt 18:21-35