‘RESENTMENT IS A FOUL THING’

 

‘RESENTMENT IS A FOUL THING’

It is not difficult to think of actual cases of resentment that we have known but it is not helpful. What is really beautiful – and healing – is to think of cases of forgiveness. After the bitter war of liberation, Robert Mugabe began his tenure of office with a magnanimous expression of forgiveness which was sincerely meant at the time. We were inspired and looked forward to the creation of a new society where all the ills of the past would be addressed. That was 1980.

The twentieth century saw other instances of reconciliation in Germany, Ireland, South Africa and elsewhere. Forgiveness, whether between people or nations, frees us and opens doors. Resentments lock us into ourselves and block any kind of growth. The story of the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18 is both cruel and ludicrous. The practice of selling a person’s wife and children to pay a debt sounds heinous to our ears. And the act of cancelling a debt of the equivalent of millions of dollars without a moment’s hesitation sounds just funny. But neither of these are the point of the story. The man was forgiven but he could not forgive.

Resentment and forgiveness seem direct opposites but they have one thing in common: passion. People can be passionate and obstinate about their resentments, but if they are touched by God, as Paul was, they can be even more passionate about the new life that opens up for them. ‘I am living in faith, faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me’ (Gal 2:20). He goes on to boast about his troubles – ‘dangers at sea, from rivers, from brigands, from my own people …’ He is full of life and energy and makes light of his troubles because of the forgiveness he has experienced.

A person living with resentments is like a caged dog whining the day away while other dogs cavort in the sun. The person’s energies and capabilities lie thwarted and unfulfilled. Yet they are only a step away from new life and freedom if they could only see it.

The other sad reflection is that resentment has a social impact; it contaminates relationships in the family, the community and the state. The attitude of the resentful person is contagious and blocks those around him or her from doing what they could do.

No wonder Ben Sirah, writing more than two thousand years ago, could say, ‘Resentment and anger, these are foul things…’

17 Sept 2023         Sunday 24A          Sir 27:30ff   Rom 14:7-9   Mt 18:21-35

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I TAME

 

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I TAME

This Sunday, we do not have a story about what Jesus did; it is simply what he says. His words are introduced by Ezekiel’s idea of the prophet as a watchman. Many houses and institutions in Harare have watchmen or watch women. It is a lonely – even dangerous task. It is akin to the shepherd who guards his flock by night. It is also a responsible task. The physical welfare of the people and their property is in the hands of the one who watches. Jesus extends this to their spiritual welfare and here we see the prophet moving beyond just watching and warning. He tells his disciples they are responsible for the welfare of others.

This has political consequences. Anyone in a leadership role – parent, teacher, councillor, president – has the task of caring for all in his or her care. Everyone, at the level at which they find themselves, is duty bound to care for those for whom they are responsible.

A hundred years ago the pope came up with the clumsy word, subsidiarity. It was the time when states were claiming total power over their citizens, making choices for them that it was none of their business to make. Pius IX insisted that responsibility should be shared out according to the level at which one finds oneself. It is none of the state’s business, normally, to tell me what to plant in my garden, (unless, of course, I am growing that will be harmful to others!)

Similarly, local people are most likely to know where to put a bore-hole, (unless, again, they have no idea and some expert knowledge is required). But, to return to our watchman, the point we come to is: we are responsible for each other at whatever level we find ourselves.   Yet, we hate taking that responsibility. We fear we will be rebuffed or we will be accused of poking our nose in another person’s business. It is much easier to just say nothing. Perhaps, too, we feel young people especially are exploring life, trying to find their place, and the last thing they want to be told by some fuzzy adult is that they may be on the wrong track.

Yet experience also shows that, when someone in a responsible position – an aunt/uncle, a teacher or a friend – and does make the effort to share his concern, it is often deeply appreciated. In the story of The Little Prince, the fox says to him, ‘You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.’ We need to remind ourselves; relationship always carries responsibility. Our age is often characterised as one of ‘individualism.’ People feel free of custom, tradition and religion and want to make up their own minds. This is good in a way but we also need the balance and wisdom that listening to the experience of others can teach us. 

A SHOCKING CONFRONTATION

 A SHOCKING CONFRONTATION

Just after ‘an election win’, when Peter is confirmed as leader of the little group

of disciples, there is a strong exchange of words between him and Jesus. Having

identified himself to them as indeed the Messiah, Jesus explains what he will

have to endure in order to achieve his goal: ‘… to suffer grievously … and be

put to death’. Peter is horrified and vehemently advises against it.

But this is the heart of the matter and Jesus tells him bluntly; ‘you are a scandal,

an obstacle in my path.’ How often that confrontation takes place! Not only

between people but within the heart of a person? The war in Ukraine gets far

more coverage than the war in Sudan but the same dynamic is at work. We hear

of young men, on the cusp of life, opting to stay and fight, knowing that they

may not live to see their wives and children again.

Matthew, Chapter 16, right in the heart of the gospel is the heart of the gospel. It

is decision time. Am I going to choose the ‘better part’, the ‘road less

travelled’? Or am I going to take ‘the easy way out’? The question comes all the

time. There was a banker in Zambia who was doing well, ‘climbing the ladder’,

‘upwardly mobile’! But she knew in her heart she was not satisfied. The work

brought her a comfortable life but no peace. She gave up her career and studied

psychology and became a psychotherapist helping countless people. She ‘lost’

her life and found it.

There are many people who make this good and generous choice each day and

let us celebrate them. Much of the time we can include ourselves! But the

yawning question remains. It goes on beckoning us. It is there in the elections

we have just endured. Do we settle back into our normal ways which disturb no

one, least of all ourselves? Or do we keep up the reaching, the searching, the

straining for something better. There is no authenticity without the cross. It

leaves a mark on every decision we make. We either choose the cross and find

‘life’ or avoid it and settle for a half-life.

A hundred years ago, James Joyce gave a terrifying description of a priest’s

sermon on judgement and hell to boys in a secondary school in his Portrait of

the Artist as a Young Man. I hope no priest would do the same today! But I

suppose many of us have sometimes wondered about what our final exam will

be like! Will we get a warm welcome, a ‘well-done’, a Summa cum Laude, or

just a pass?! It will be a warm welcome but we still have to keep the question

always before our eyes: ‘can I lose my life each day and so find it?’

3 Sept 2023 Sunday 22A Jer 20:7-9 Rom 12:1-2 Mt 16:21-27