WHEN THE BRIDEGROOM LEAVES
‘The time will come for the bridegroom to be taken
away from them, and then they will fast’. This is a coded message we can relate
to. It is the moment the scaffolding is removed and building has to stand on
its own. It is the moment in the
shipyard when the ship slides into the water for the first time. It is the
moment we leave home to go to school. It is the moment we graduate and we are
on our own. It is the moment both our parents die.
On 31 July 1556, the founder of the religious family
I belong to, Ignatius of Loyola, died. We are told his companions were
heartbroken. “Salmeron wept and Nadal, when he heard the news, was ‘stricken to
the soul.’ Francis Borgia spoke of loneliness and sorrow beyond the power of
words and Polanco wrote, ‘we strive as best we know how to accept the passing
of our father’.”
It is painful but it is a ‘rite of passage’ and
there is no escaping it. Each year we
have a time we call Lent which asks us to reflect on how we have lived this
rite. How are we doing, in making
decisions for ourselves? We may live in an environment where our power of
choosing is limited. But still, we have
the freedom to respond. No one can take
that away from us – even if we are in prison or confined to a hospital
bed. We always have that freedom.
What
do we do when we are on our own; when there is no one watching us? The gospel
for Ash Wednesday insists we act in secret – whether in fasting, prayer or
helping others. If we ‘parade’ our
actions we undermine them and they have no worth. Most animals survive by following the herd
and even the early Israelites responded as a group, not as individuals. The
maturity of our relationship with ourselves and with God comes when we stand on
our own. If we are constantly adjusting our behaviour – as well as our clothes
and make-up! – to the expectations of others we really have not yet grown up. We
can recall the words of WH Auden,
Private faces in public places are wiser
and nicer
than public faces in private places.
Lent is a time to look at our private face; to be
responsible for our own choices. It is a time to recognise the beautiful gift
we all have of making our own life. If Irenaeus is remembered for one thing it
is his saying; ‘The glory of God is a person fully alive.’ We cannot be fully alive if we do not own
ourselves. Yet countless people go
through life wondering, ‘what will others think’. It is time we remembered the bridegroom is no
longer here. We are on our own.
10 March 2019 Lent
1 C
Deuteronomy 26:4-10 2
Corinthians 5:20-6:2 Matthew 6:1-6,
16-18
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